Have you ever wondered what is the relationship between thoughts feelings, and experience? Have you ever wondered where happiness comes from?
Wanting to escape anxiety, I wondered how to successfully dance with persistent self-defeating thoughts. These are some of the things I found out.
From time to time, all humans wonder how to be happy, or how to be successful. It seems we are always looking for external attention, affection, and affirmation. We are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. Focusing on the past, or the future distracts us from what life has placed in front of us.
Have you ever wondered how to love and accept yourself as you are? From that place of acceptance; we can be curious, take the next step and see what is available at the moment.
I often wonder if there is a solution to the specific problem I am facing at the moment. Sometimes I sit with the discomfort of not knowing what to do next, sometimes for hours. After a while; as if by magic, an option pops-up into my mind; I handle the matter the best I can; and move on to the next thing to do.
Other times, I have to move beyond my comfort zone, ask for support from a family member, friend, a mentor, or I choose to hire a professional.
Beyond the conditioning
Have you ever wondered what is beyond the comfort zone? A different way of being in life. Since we can change where we focus our attention; the possibilities are endless. We are designed for success; we are resilient.
Insecurity appears to be the generic mental health challenge. What is beyond fear and doubt? Since all thoughts and feelings are temporary; what is beyond that feeling of insecurity is just another experience with the corresponding thought and feeling. And within seconds, that thought -feeling combo will be replaced by the next one. Thoughts and feeling are constantly changing, flowing. They don’t discriminate, they just pop-up in every mind.
The river of life keeps flowing, it doesn’t wait for anyone. In life, we have temporary experiences; and some moments of personal satisfaction. And, of course, we experience all those unwanted feelings that we are trying to avoid.
What if… the purpose of life is to experience whatever comes our way, and learn from that event? What if… as human beings we are designed to discard the old conditioning, and stretch beyond the familiar comfort zone? Have you ever wondered what is available beyond fear and doubt? A new life!
Well, life is full of temporary moments of peaceful confidence; and some temporary disappointments too. Remember: we are designed for success, and we have always been handling the moment as it arrives each time, not a second before, or after. That is how we have been designed. We are learners, we are resilient, we can try things for a while, and then change our minds, and start all over again.
Thus, happiness is a natural byproduct of experiencing, and learning from each moment. We are not planted, or static creatures. We are always becoming whatever we need to become in order to handle the experience at hand.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if we were not afraid of the feeling that comes with each experience? worry, anxiety, anger, sadness, fear, envy, jealousy, etc.
Well, If you don’t fear your experiences and feelings, how would you show-up in life today? What kind of leader, partner, or parent would you become?
Imagine living free of fear or doubt, grateful for any experience that comes your way. See the mental images, and the narrative that comes with those images.
Imagine welcoming all experiences free of judgment. What is the feeling in your body? For me, what comes to mind is: peaceful confidence!
Seeing that our nature is love and wisdom changes the way we perceive ourselves, and others. The persistent self-defeating thoughts: There is something wrong with me, I’m less than others, I’m shy, or I’m a victim conditioning tends to fall-off of our shoulders on its own.
-Accept that you are love: connecting, accepting others free of judgments, loving, and lovable, and holding space for others to experience the same.
-Accept the system wisdom: you have been learning since the moment you were born. You have a unique kind of common sense, a unique relationship to thought, and if you are not distracted by the mental noise; you can learn from any experience any time.
-From that point of view, can you see all that is available to you each moment? The possibilities are endless.
All things big and small (including humans) are energy. As such, we are always connected to the universal creative energy behind all life. We are nature in human form, we always bounce back.
Since we are resilient, and we have everything that we need to handle the moment as it comes, what is next? Standing up, taking the steps, and making a public declaration that we are reaching out for what we want.
Remembering who we are
Remember: Sometimes we win, and other times we don’t win, but we never loose; as long as we show-up and take part in life.
Look within, listen beyond the unsatisfied mental narrative that complains; describes problems and offer solutions to those problems. Beyond the mental noise of the agitated mind; there are your talents, gifts and wants. See them, recognize them, own them, they will show you the next step, and the consistent actions needed to move toward your goals. I say; we are love, wisdom and endless possibilities. We are not the past, the stories, or the beliefs we defend.
New Beginnings are available every moment. Yes, they are available when we see beyond the familiar comfort zone. Now, that is true – if we are willing to stand up and be seen. If we are willing to climb over the imaginary edges of the comfort zone; and start a new life, again.
Have you ever wondered what does it take to stand up and claim your space in life? It takes courage, the willingness to feel the discomfort of leaving the old familiar comfort zone. The willingness to feel the growing pains, to accept that each day is a brand new experience. The willingness to say I don’t exactly know what will happen, and I am willing to reach out for what I want; and see what happens.
Will it feel uncomfortable, or strange? Of course it will, that is what happens as we grow or change. It is call: the growing pains, or the learning curve. But, remember you have felt that discomfort many times from day you were born. As a matter of fact you feel that discomfort (disappointment) every day! Are you willing to… intentionally feel it again; in order to shed the old conditioning?
A way Out
Share your gifts, mentor someone, ask someone to mentor you, and if they say not now… then ask somebody else. Like in a soccer game the ball keeps moving back and forth, and once in a while someone celebrates a temporary moment of happiness, and life goes on. But, to experience that temporary moment of celebration, or any other moment; you have to show-up at the game. Life is a full contact sport; do you want to play?
Wondering = questioning, speculating, inquiring. Healthy curiosity is helpful, and taking the self-defeating thoughts seriously can become a distraction, as it grabs our attention, and all else seems to be less important. However, once we see the distraction for what it is: temporary thoughts passing by, it can become a great gift. I learned that thoughts are temporary and neutral, they appear and the mind labels them good or bad, positive or negative. I learned that thoughts are not personal, the same thoughts that appear in my mind are available to all humans. I’m not alone, we are all connected. When I am feeling insecure, anxious or depressed, there are at least other thousand people going through the same experience, but my mind thinks I am the only one suffering at the moment.
Understanding the nature of Thought, and how to dance with it; is the best gift to enhance our life experience.
Are you wondering if you have what it takes to risk of showing up?
Of course you have what it takes. Remember, you are always becoming whatever you need to become to handle the moment. Even when you think you don’t have it, you do. Look inside, and see by yourself.
Are you open to learning more about the endless possibilities that life has in store for you? Stretch beyond the old conditioning, reach out, talk to someone, you are not alone. We are all connected.
If you want to learn more about the creative power of Thought, click here.
If you would like to know more, please contact me here.