Chasing Happiness
Happiness: the coveted state of mind that often precedes peaceful confidence. The place where human suffering ends, and the thirsty souls find contentment!
After 45 years of pursuing happiness, or chasing after the wind, I finally see that I have been looking in all the wrong places. Happiness is a feeling that results from thoughts crossing my mind at the moment. Happiness is an oasis we visit over and over to recharge our souls, not a final destination.
And since all thoughts and feelings are temporary; or short lived, so is happiness.
All feelings, happiness included; come and go. Yes, they appear and disappear on their own, and within seconds a new idea and feeling shows up. End of the story.
New understanding, new way of thinking, new feeling, time to stop chasing the wind. Thoughts give meaning to what we perceived, a feeling appears, and we have a temporary experience.
Beyond the pursuit
Seeing, and understanding that fact; improved the quality of my days, and my relationships. It has removed a ton of imaginary obstacles that I no longer imbue with importance.
Seeing how that process affected my experiences; changed everything for me. When you experience that, it may be one of the most freeing realizations you can have. And it will put a smile on your face too.
This realization helped me see that there is nothing wrong with me, nothing to fix, or cure. We are neither damaged nor broken, we happen to be human, that is all.
Thoughts of insecurity cross our minds every hour. Sometimes we see them for what they are; a blip of energy traversing our consciousness. From this place of peaceful confidence; we can relax, test the situation, and go on with our day as needed.
Other times we see feelings of insecurity, or envy as evidence that there is something wrong with us. The noise of the loud mental traffic scares us, and we rush to fix the perceived flaws.
The comfort zone – or the conditioning will insist that there is something wrong with you. From that agitated state of mind, we get lost in the mental loop: paralysis, drama, catastrophe. Sounds familiar? Worry, anxiety, distress for hours, or days.
Then, that thought-feeling combo disappears, and a new thought-feeling combo appears. During that process any feeling can show up; joy, sadness, anger, fear, envy, or jealousy. Any feeling a compelling temporary experience. Stressful? Yes! But… ‘Harmless and temporary’ remember that.
When this happens to me, I remember that this is how all human beings feel from time to time. I realize that there is nothing wrong with me, that I am a human being feeling off-base. This allows me to focus on the task at hand, and to do what needs to happen at the moment
And, life goes on, until the next time that I get swept away by another thought loop. Yes, the next mental movie full of compelling drama, and overwhelming feelings is in the cue.
Remember: It is ok to fall asleep, and it is ok to wake up again. We are resilient, we always bounce back. We have been experiencing all kind of feelings since birth.
See for yourself: joy, sadness, anger, fear, shame, guilt, peace, confidence, boredom, loneliness…
How many times in your life; have you experienced any, or all feelings mentioned above? You survived that time, and now you have many more resources.
I don’t want to feel them again, and if they show up, I know I will be ok!
Walking up
1- In conclusion, we are one big human family, we are Nature in human form. Our minds work one way, our experiences come from the inside out. Our feelings do not come from individuals, events, or circumstances out there. Our ability to think gives meaning to what we perceive, a feeling comes up, and we experience the perceive circumstance, person, or event as reality.
2- We are whole and resilient, we are complete, we have everything we need to handle this moment. And… we also have the capacity to think that there is something wrong with us. The old conditioning will insist that you don’t have what it takes. How?
By suggesting: ‘There is always something wrong with you, you are either are too much, or not enough.
3- The best part is that we are resilient, curious, learning, and we are always changing. We have the capacity to see past the ‘I am not good enough illusion.’
Remember who we are: we are one with the universe, we are within the universe; as a human cell is within the body. We are not separate or alone, we are always connected, supported by a bigger system, never alone.
4- It is natural to feel all feelings, including insecurity, or peaceful confidence. That is how the human experience is! Understanding that allows me to jump-in, and join this ‘full contact sport’ we call life. Expect some friction, and enjoy the ride as much as you can.
Can you see how often in an hour; you get lost in an insecurity loop, and then, always return to peaceful confidence? Welcome to being human.
There is nothing wrong with you, this is the begining of the end of unnecessary self-inflicted suffering.
Can you relate?
In what areas of your life does resistance stand up to protect you from a perceived threat?
Notice the resistance, don’t dismiss it. Get curious, take a closer look and see if the danger is real, or imagined.
There is wisdom available beyond the illusion. Once you see that the obstacle is ‘made-up of thinking that you are taking seriously;’ you will know how to proceed.
Can you imagine how your day would be if you were not afraid of your moment-to-moment experience?
Do you want to learn more about this process? Contact me here.
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J Enrique Roman