Then, and Now… I was waiting for the right moment to ask her out, and the right moment never came…
Today, I am feeling grateful for good health, and good friends that support and challenge me when needed. Our support system is amazing, we support each other, and hold space for others to step up and be accountable. We often share if we did, or didn’t do what we promised to do to ourselves, or to others in the larger community. It goes like this: Are we in integrity with ourselves, and others? Did we do what we said we were going to? This circle of friends helps me to return to being in integrity with myself, and others. Curious? Well, ‘now and then’ we fall out of integrity, and it is good to have someone to catch you doing something good, as many times as they catch you doing something not so good. Publicly admitting being out of integrity with ourselves and others; brings up insecurity and sometimes shame, but the discomfort falls off of our shoulders when we are asked: ‘what small step can you take now to return to integrity with yourself, and others?’
Yes, we often become out of integrity; and we can quickly become aware of it, and return to integrity.
How do we become aware of anything? We use THOUGHT – our capacity to think, our capacity to use the amazing creative power of thought.
I also have some friends and family members, that somehow I don’t see as supportive, or encouraging. I have noticed that now and then… our conversations are full of complaints, failures, and painful memories. No wonder after spending time together I find myself feeling heavy, and tired. It is not that they are bad, it is that when we are together somehow we focus our attention in that dark area of life.
Thus, I have decided to spend less time with them, and to stop indulging in negative talk, and complaining. That brings me to stop criticizing or blaming others, and avoiding responsibility on my part. So, what else can I do, besides avoiding them? Perhaps, sharing the good news, and sharing what I have been learning that has made a difference in the way I see life.
Doing or Not Doing is A Thought Form
Thus, I think it is a good idea to remember were our experiences come from (the thoughts crossing our mind at the moment), and openly discuss how to respond to insecure thinking, and start sharing what we have learned about Mind, consciousness, and Thought.
Why share? because these facts are really good news. Share because this simple understanding is life changing. Once we understand the nature of thought; our mental health goes up, worry, anxiety, and insecurity goes down, and the unnecessary suffering starts dissipating all by itself!
The best thing that I did this week; was calling two of my friends and letting them know how much they mean in my everyday life. It felt strange to call them … just to thank them. It was such a strange feeling, that I almost changed my mind before making the call, but at the end I called. We talked about life, death, and unnecessary self-inflicted suffering, all of us felt joy by the connection we had created. Something rich and wholesome was created in that simple interaction. Feeling the discomfort and allowing it to pass; was necessary to get from then to now, to move from feeling insecure and agitated to feeling peaceful and confidence.
After some years of reading Sydney Banks books, and learning more about Mind, Consciousness, and Thought, all I can think is : ‘Every body should know about this!’
Three Basic facts, or three principles that show us how the human mind works, and the impact it has on our daily life.
- 1) The amazing creative nature of thought, and how the content is always changing
- 2) That our experiences always come from the thoughts crossing our mind at the moment, and never from any external events, or people
- 3) Our innate connection to wisdom.
- 4) We are resilient; we always return to balanced mental health; regardless of how intense the thought storm was
- 5) We are not broken, nor damaged, or in need of fixing
If we want to reduce or eliminate unnecessary suffering; everyone needs to learn about these good news. It is time to reveal the best kept secret: We are not broken, not damaged, or in need of fixing. We just misunderstand how the mind works.
Story is a Thought Form
There are plenty of mentors, coaches, and practitioners that can help spread the good news about ending unnecessary suffering, but they feel nervous about stepping up to share. Yes, I know, because for a while I felt nervous about sharing with others what I have learned. “I’m not ready yet, I don’t know enough, what are they going to think about me? what if I make a mistake ? or What If I can’t answer their questions? were some of the thoughts that grabbed my attention, so, I didn’t do it, until I did!
Many of us have a story, a memory of someone or something suggesting that ‘there is always something wrong with us. A thought says that we are either too much for the situation, or not good enough to stand up and share whatever it is we want to share.’
Our intellect interprets that as a fact that we are different, unwanted, or not worthy, and innocently we decide to hide, repress and deny our gifts, talents, and personal wants.
Yes, we understand it is a thought, and we tell others; that we understand it is temporary, and that we know a thought can’t physically hold us back from doing what we want to do. And yet… we keep waiting for the right moment that never comes. We keep waiting for the right moment to ask her, or him out, and before we know – the opportunity has passed; and they are committed to someone else.
The invitation is: ‘remember… we got to do what we dislike doing; in order to get what we want to get.’ That thing that we dislike; is feeling the discomfort that we shows up to protect us every time we think about taking that step. We have been feeling that discomfort all these years, it is not going kill us, and it is neither going away.
Excessive thinking about anything can paralyze us, being pulled in many directions; pins us down, and smothers our creative spark.
Do you want clients? Tell you family and friends.
Do you know ten people among family, friends and co-workers? Tell them about the services you offer. Show Your Work! is a good book by Austin Kleon, check it out!
Do you want to practice your skills? Offer mentoring others, swap mentoring sessions, or hire a coach with a clear intention of practicing. What would you do? Any suggestions?
Feeling insecure, fear and doubt about your skills? Insecurity is going to rise up and deter you from taking action; over and over… until one day you decide to take that step despite the discomfort.
Do you remember your first insight, and how nothing changed but everything appeared different?
Are you aware of the positive impact this knowledge keeps having on your life?
Can you imagine the impact this knowledge will have in our communities as we share these good news; with as many people as possible?
- -Share books
- -Tell co-workers or family members about podcasts you found meaningful
- -When talking with friends, and they ask you ‘what’s up?’ If you want to, tell them something interesting that you learned this week.
- -Show friends the site of your learning place. Here are some of the ones I visit often…
- The Little School of Big Change
- One Solution Global –
Do you need support?
-talk to someone in your community.
-Volunteer to be mentored, and to mentor someone
-Consider other options that may help you become comfortable with the nervousness about sharing what you know.
-Practice, and supportive feedback will make you and expert. The old story and insecure thinking will still show up now and then. But you wont be paralyzed by fear… because that was then, and this is now.
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