Frank Sinatra’s voice filled the room, his unique voice and the amazing orchestra delivered the message: ”You are nobody; until somebody loves you, You are nobody, until somebody cares… So find yourself… somebody to love…
Culture may say “you are nobody,” but the truth is: “There is more to you than meets the eye, you are already somebody lovely, and lovable. You are more than the body, the personality (ego), the intellect, or the memories, you are the life force which animates the whole system. You are the space where temporary thoughts appear and disappear.”
And the song goes on: ”You are nobody; until somebody loves you, You are nobody, until somebody cares… So find yourself… somebody to love…
Listening to these lyrics, two memories came to mind. The first was remembering a broken heart that almost got me fired from my first job. The second was seven years later, hearing Ali (one of my many mentors) say: “I understand it hurts a lot, and you may be thinking about death and dying, but the only thing that is dying now is the illusion, the wishful thinking in your mind, that is all. Your body isn’t dying, and neither are you.” -startled, drying my tears, I looked-up, and before I could ask the question; she continued “the Spirit, the life force that you really are, that which animates the whole system is not dying anytime soon.”
Culture may say “you are nobody,” but the truth is: “There is more to you than meets the eye, you are already somebody lovely, and lovable.”
I was 24, I guess my mentor was in her sixties; I never got to ask her age, but for me, she was an angel in female form. No words were needed; her actions handed me the unspoken healing message: “You are worthy, you are already lovely, and lovable.”
I was 24, and I was not aware that: I am more than the body, the personality, the memories, the plethora of stories I believed I was.
What did she see in me? I have no idea, but she decided that she was going to mentor me, and I was in no shape to decline, and so my life changed, or as Ali would say, “Your point of view has changed, and from this new point of view … everything looks different.”
Besides being philosophically and spiritually oriented, Ali was a good story teller. She said “I have a big family, I married my high school sweet-heart, had a family of five, and then, after some time we got divorced. Eight years later; I married again, and now I have another family, and a younger son, he is 20 now.”
I listened in silence, and as I listened to her story, my story; my inner tragedy seemed to be losing importance. As her voice narrated her life experience, my story seemed less tragic, and my feelings shifted from sadness and sluggishness to warmth and aliveness. My tragic story was dream-like compared to her sometimes-dreadful story.
By our third meeting; the conversation continued to be really stimulating, but somehow repetitive. In almost every meeting I heard Ali saying “we are resilient, we are designed to handle life as it comes. Even when we think we can’t handle a situation; life goes on, and we make it through the storm.”
The basic message I heard was: I am ok, I’m having a moment of confusion; but sooner than later I will bounce back to a peaceful confident feeling.
It was 1981 in the hustle and bustle of the garment industry in New York City. Working among females was a blessing, the noise, the energy, the constant chatter was music to my ears. You see, I grew-up among four sisters, a younger brother, mom, a couple of aunts, and the occasional 2 or 3 female visitors to the tailor shop.
Ali and I had lunch almost every day for about a month, we even went out to dinner a couple of times. We talked about the negative impact worry and anxiety have on how we see life. How anger, fear and doubt make our world appear scary, and tiny. We even talked about how focusing our attention on these issues leads to addictions, depression, or even suicide.
And, of course; we also talked about being innately resilient, never alone or disconnected from this God-like energy that is always available to us – all the time. She even mentioned the Carl Jung epitaph “Invoked or not invoked God is always present,” and one of his quotes “Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.”
This is what happened during this mentorship:
As Ali talked and I listened. She kept pointing me towards an inner resource of wisdom I didn’t know existed within me. She quoted the bible, shared metaphors, and her personal life experiences.
She often said: “We all have stories, what I share with you -about me- is just to show you that the answer is always within us. You were born with a unique connection to wisdom and well-being. As long as you are alive; you can never be separated from it, even when it appears and feels like you are disconnected.”
“In other words, you are ok, you are already somebody lovely and lovable.”
What I heard or understood at that time; was that all humans have an innate connection to God. Others may call it intuition, faith, street-smarts, or whatever they want to call it. – I called it BELONGING! I belong here on earth; I’m nature in human-male form. Ali was nature in human female form, and then, she passed away.
All I know is that I got it; I am connected to that universal wisdom, even when at times I feel disconnected. I got it: I belong here on earth. And, I want you to know that you have it too. As long as you are alive there is an endless supply of breaths, an endless supply of thoughts, and a constant connection to wisdom, well-being and endless inner resources.
Since our attention is the energy that keeps the thought alive, pay attention to what you are paying attention to. We are pure creative power: and how we use THOUGHT (our capacity to think, and use our imagination) determines our state of mind.
As I got familiar with these new ideas about being connected to a God-like force, being worthy, and the strange idea that I am lovely, and lovable, I began to feel lighter and confident for no apparent reason. The constant rushing mental traffic slowed down, or at least it appeared to have slowed down a great deal. Life became a 90-minutes friendly soccer game instead of the 4 + hour full marathon.
Twenty years later, I heard about the Pransky’s online course INSIGHT, the three principles of a high performance & fulfilling life.
Wow, talk about checking under the hood, and seeing how things work. This online course gave me the theory, language, and intimate experience of the 3 Principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought. Understanding how I use these spiritual gifts to create my life experience moment to moment was a life changer.
I now understand the creative nature of thought, the temporary nature of my personal thinking and feelings, and I have a better idea of how the mind works. I can now clearly see my unconscious reactions to messages like: “You are nobody, until somebody loves you.”
Culture may say “you are nobody,” but the truth is: “There is more to you than meets the eye, you are already somebody lovely, and lovable.”
This is what happens in my mind:
A thought that I don’t even know I’m having; shows up and says: “You are nobody, until somebody cares.” If I’m feeling disconnected; in that moment my mental state changes from peacefully confident to dark and stormy: insecure.
All it takes is a THOUGHT to change my state or mind from peacefully confident to insecure
As a human-being you have your own versions of thoughts which you consider urgent and important, below are mine:
- There is something wrong with me, I’m either too much, or not enough for the situation
- I’m not lovable, I don’t belong anywhere, I am a misfit
- I need constant external approval; I can’t handle any feedback. Suggestions are put-downs, and humiliations
- I’m bad, if you knew how bad I am, or how badly I think of you and others, you would reject me, or try to hurt me
- The world is a dangerous place, I have to hide, play small, or I have to come-in as strong as possible to claim my space in life. I have to hit them hard before the hit me! Life is not fair; what is available to them is not available to me
Often, these thoughts grab my attention and I feel lost in a dangerous scary world. Other times, I stop and look again, and I notice that all this drama is actually happening within myself (between my ears only), nothing is actually happening out there; in the real world.
And… since I know that no mental activity can ever physically hurt or injure me, I relax. And from that relaxed state of mind; I remember that all it takes is one thought to change my state of mind from frantic-insecure thinking to peacefully confident.
Culture (and your mind) may say “you are nobody,” but the truth is: “There is more to you than meets the eye, you are already somebody lovely, and lovable.”
Someone may ask: What about past events?
Past events happened at that time… often all that is left of that event is a memory. Mental images with the corresponding narratives; brought to life now; via thought.
As we remember the past event, it evokes intense in vivo feelings, while the event is a memory. Find someone qualified to mentor you, and walk with you as Ali mentored me and helped me see beyond the edges of a tiny scary world.
Would you like to learn more about this? See the links below:
The rewilders: An Online Community to Help You Rewild Your Life Back to Its Natural State of Love, Balance, and Harmony!
Rob Cook Podcast: It’s a lighthearted show about the human experience with live conversations, discussions, and interviews of some of the newest to most established 3Principle practitioners.
Little School of Big Change : The Little School of Big Change is a guided, 6-week program designed to help you overcome anxiety and unwanted habits without needing to rely on willpower.
Tres Principios en Español: 3PESP Una vida más fácil, plena y disfrutable a través de la comprensión de la mente. Haz click aqui
Remember:
-we humans are thinkers. Our minds are creative story tellers
-the thought in our mind at the moment (always) determines our feelings
-what we focus our attention-on lingers, and it appears urgent & important, but it is not. It is always temporary and repetitive.
-Beyond the constant mental noise, there is a quiet place, in that silent inner chamber, in that emptiness, there are endless possibilities.
-Understanding your innate connection to a greater energy (JHVH) = peace of mind, and well-being.
Want to read more? Click here
Photo by: Katy Fischer